As the final days of the year run out it seems a fitting time to review what has been working in my life and what hasn’t. Each year I find it useful to see how I have done in regard to whatever aim I have taken on for that year. The time passes whether I have an aim or not, though for me it takes on a deeper relevance when there is something I want to work with. It is a way to direct my attention. The first time I did this was 30 years ago when I decided to live in a question. Each time I felt the urge to argue with someone I asked my self the question: Do you want to be right, or do you want this relationship to work? By the way, my answer varied dependent upon the circumstances. I kept that same question in front of me for three years while I learned to intercept default responses. Over the course of those years I learned new ways to deal with upsets that were not self righteous.
I have had many questions and aims I have worked with since then. I find they are best when they are simply stated and easily remembered. It is hard to keep an aim when it is to complex. At least for me it has been. At another time I remember working with one about feelings of competition that would arise in me. I had seen that at times that the need to win, or be best at something would feel like a force that overtook my good sense. I saw how this sensation would feel compulsive and how I behaved with others did not leave a good feeling with me.
An aim is personal and when it carries a true desire to alter some habitual behavior that no longer serves me it is a great tool. So, as the new year is right around the corner I invite you to join me in setting your own aim for the coming year. What would like like to aim for in the coming year?
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