Partners and Problems - Listening

    When an issue comes up between me and another, my default position is defense. Usually so is theirs. I have discovered I am not listening to what happened to them when I am in the middle of explaining my side/position. And… I do not feel heard when they are explaining their side/position.

When someone is talking about me, it is difficult to hear it about them. Yet, when I can it reveals their perception of me. It is how they have heard or seen me, it is how I appear to them. Now the big question for me becomes, what was my part in that perception? Uncomfortable as this was for me in the beginning I eventually was able to see how my reactions kept me from learning. I can not let go of something I defend and the other cannot be heard as long as I refuse to acknowledge the effect it had.