Partners and Problems

Here’s the problem. Two people love each other and usually do well together until what seems right to each, is not in agreement. So how do they keep from arguing with each other over who is right?   


When I am in a relationship with another and we are in disagreement, to the point that the tension can be felt between us. I find my default mode is defensive, meaning I am listening for each place I disagree; I am framing my response to defend my position. I speak/think, using the metaphors of battle. I am now acting as though one of us is right and the other wrong. This does not usually end well in my experience; and rarely produces something I want. In a relationship when one partner has a problem, both are at the effect. I find it is much easier to talk when we have a problem and we are looking for a way to resolve it.

More about this tomorrow -