3 Barriers to Learning

Once in awhile I would see something that had alluded me for years. I spent the first 40 years of my life without noticing how fruitless many of my strategies were. Not that I recognized them as strategies at the time. 

When other’s upset me, my reaction was often to let them know the error of their ways. I wanted them to do something different… they needed to change. The fact that this rarely if ever changed things seemed to escape me. Then one day I saw the underlying assumption I had accepted. If I could get others to behave the way I wanted, I would not have to feel what I didn’t want to feel. As soon as I was able to but it together in that way, the absurdity of it struck me.

Another ah-ha came when I realized I was often defending behavior I did not like in others or want in myself. This was difficult to stop as it felt like losing to not give my reasons and justifications. It took some work to keep excuses from leaking out of my mouth. It was however, eye opening and vital to discovering my part in what wasn’t working.

Last for today, and perhaps the most empowering to me, was the discovery that when my opinion differed from another’s and they were right it did not automatically mean I was wrong. Learning to learn from differences and to add perspectives continues to enrich my understanding.